Taking things too literally. Literally.

Just because this was posted on Facebook, doesn't mean it's true. But it is good for a chuckle and for illustrating how important clear and concise language is. 

Check 'er out: 

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots ("P") and solutions recorded ("S") by maintenance engineers:

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

Checking in and catching up

Here's where I've been of late. 

First, I've been writing a shitty first draft. And, you can thank the wonderful writer Anne Lamott for that. Check out #6 on this Facebook post of hers. 

 The wonderful writer Anne Lamott. 

It's not even the first draft of a novel. Though for the time spent on it, it should be. It's a stinkin' 750-word piece. Those are the most difficult, you know. The small word count is a killer. Filling up pages and pages with words, that's child play. 

Second, I just finished "The Girl on the Train" by Paula Hawkins. And, I'm still catching my breath. 

A "must read."

What a wild ride. A real thriller. I highly recommend it. The actual reading time was short because I couldn't put the thing down. 

Funny, I rarely treat myself to a hardback book, but when I read the reviews for "The Girl on the Train," I knew I would love it. Clever structure with the three narrators. Characters rang true. 

I'm one of those who can never figure out who in a whodunnit. This one really had me reeling. 

That's where I've been. Now, on to revising that first draft. 

Change your email password, now!

Monday morning greeted me with a hacked email account. What a nuisance that was. Still cleaning up that mess.

A firm believer in silver linings, allow me share with you two positives that came from that situation. 

First, it was very nice to know so many of my contacts look out for me. I received phone calls, texts, emails to my other account, and Facebook posts alerting me to the situation. That made me feel very good. 

Second, this is a good opportunity to clean up my digital files, update passwords, synchronize social media, among other housekeeping items I tend not to not fuss with very often. 

Take a tip from someone who knows: change your passwords!

Below is the email the hack was sending out. I hope no one sent money. I'm sure they'll let me know. 

 

When You Meant to Write the Very Best

Day 10 / 30-Day Writing Challenge

I try to live by the Golden Rule. Someone using my mistakes as fodder for jokes or other amusement really isn't enjoyable for me. So, I try not to do that to others.

But, the above photo, which I found circulating on Facebook, is gold. That the misspelling/misuse is used in a compliment (notice I didn't use "complement," who knows if it was intended for a geometry teacher!) to a teacher. Well, the irony doesn't get much better than that.

Makes you wonder if it was intentional. Maybe it is an excellent example of passive/aggressive expression. Maybe the teacher was the WORST teacher the student ever had. We'll never know, will we?

There's always a lesson to be learned, a nugget buried in the debris. Now, Friday blog posts are going to be Friday Funny.

The Most Humbling of Tasks

Want to know the most stressful aspect of Orozco Ink? Uh, that'd be proofreading.

No, not proofreading my own stuff, because no one should ever proofread their own stuff. I mean being paid to proofread another's writing. The pressure I put on myself is rattling, which, of course, doesn't make a good environment for proofreading.

It's easy to get caught up in the minutiae of serial commas while missing the glaring misspelling in the title. It's happened. How about this one: I took the leap of creating a Facebook page for my writing and editing business only to have a huge grammatical gaffe in the About section of Orozco Ink - Writing & Editing. Yes, of course, people saw it. Thank goodness some of them pointed it out to me.

Plus, when proofreading, I get tripped up on elementary things, such as rein or reign. Lie versus lay. Is it effect or affect?

Yes, proofreading can be quite humbling. (Like my Facebook debut.) On the other hand, it can be quite fun and rewarding, too. I love it when I find something buried in the middle of document that could have been a real problem for a client.

The Social Media commitment

I have made a commitment to grow my business. This entails getting on the social media train. And, Lord knows, that train has left the station so many times with me not on it. So what does this mean? It means, not in any particular order, incorporating a social media schedule into my work week. On what days and what time will I use do my social media? What social media will I use? (This blog of course. Facebook. Get on top of my LinkedIn account. My Web site has been neglected for way too long. And, the list goes on ...)

My colleague, Sara Caputo, owner of Radiant Organizing, a productivity and organizing company, advises "if you wait for the perfect opportunity to do something, you will never get anything done. Stop putting whatever you are putting off OFF! The best strategy is to put time blocks around the overwhelming things and break them into chunks. This makes the entire process easier to wrap your brain around."

This hits the nail right on the head for me. Oftentimes, when I first see the big picture my reaction is I have to take deal with all of it all at once. I get overwhelmed, which results in abandoning the project. So, my first step is to make a schedule (and stick to it). The other steps will fall into place if I stick to my schedule. Also, am going to get a professional head shot taken. Really need to update the 2+ year-old phone photo I've been using.

Above photo, roughing out a social media schedule. When it comes to mapping out a schedule or strategy, I think best with pen in hand.