Carpinteria Magazine – Hot off the press!

Just in time for some summer reading, Carpinteria Magazine is hot off the press and available all over Carpinteria and in select locations in Santa Barbara's south coast. Here's link to pick up locations: Where in the world is Carp Mag?

That's the Traveling Hurtados on the cover. I think you'll enjoy reading their story, which I wrote. Also have a couple of other pieces in the magazine. 

Here's the Web site: carpinteriamagazine.com. 

Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading. 

Taking things too literally. Literally.

Just because this was posted on Facebook, doesn't mean it's true. But it is good for a chuckle and for illustrating how important clear and concise language is. 

Check 'er out: 

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots ("P") and solutions recorded ("S") by maintenance engineers:

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

A DIY Writer’s Retreat

Writers lock themselves in hotel rooms or escape to an isolated area for a reason – to write. It’s so much easier to write when no one else is around. To write for hours and hours. And hours. That’s why I love the occasional dog/house-sitting gig that comes my way.

I’m about 20 miles from home in a three-bedroom home with four very nice dogs, a large yard, and excellent wi-fi. My workspace is the dining room table. 

My work station and officemate. 

The pups are very good company while my husband keeps the home fires burning. Sometimes we switch locales if I’ve an important meeting or something. And sometimes we work it together.

Mostly, the dog/house-sitting gig is a writer’s retreat for me.

Or as Alexandra Franzen recently wrote: “a work-cation.” She says her friend Melissa coined the word.

My computer/laptop, paper, and pens are the only things I need for my writer’s retreat. I’ll use the timer on my phone once in a while. But that’s about it.

The main thing is to keep it simple so I can get as much work done as possible. There's only one rule – out of bed by 8 to walk and feed the dogs so I can be writing by 9.

Then, things tend to take care of themselves. 

A writer’s retreat = being by one’s self to write. This can be done in the bathroom for 20 minutes while kids (hopefully) nap. Or 10 minutes. Or 2. 

A work-cation perk: picking tangerines. 

A writer's retreat doesn’t have to be a dog/house-sitting gig, a formalized-you-pay-lots-of-money weekend at a university, or a trip to the local coffee house. Anywhere with just you and your writing tools will do. For as long as time allows.

Kleenex versus Tissue

Do you know the difference between Kleenex® and tissue. And don't say "tissue is the cheaper one." 

Kleenex® is the registered trademarked brand, while tissue is the generic term. Our everyday language is peppered with brand names used as regular verbs and common nouns. 

Ever hear someone say "hoover the rug" to mean vacuum? Of course, that came from the Hoover® vacuum company. 

To "google" something is becoming synonymous with to search for something online. Actually, Google® is a trademark owned by Google Inc., which registered it on Jan. 20, 2004. 

Here are some other trademarked names that have fallen into generic usage. 

• Bubble Wrap® was trademarked on Aug. 2, 1983 by the Sealed Air Corporation. 

• Crock-Pot® was trademarked on Feb. 8, 1972 by the Sunbeam Corporation.

• Taser® was trademarked by Taser® International, Inc. on April 1, 2008. 

• Vaseline® was trademarked on November 13, 1934 by CONOPCO, Inc. 

• Velcro® was trademarked on December 16, 1975 by Velcro Industries. 

Other terms include Jet Ski®, ChapStick®, Realtor®, and Band-Aid®. I'm sure you can think of some, too. 

Jack O'Lantern and His Amazing Apostrophe

According to History.com, commonly referred to as The History Channel, people have been making Jack O'Lanterns for centuries. The custom originates from an Irish myth about a a man named "Stingy Jack." Back in the day, the carved out turnips, potatoes, or beets (that's what they used in the old country) were referred to as "Jack of the Lantern." Then it was shortened to Jack O'Lantern. 

An apostrophe is used in the contraction O'Lantern. 

Apostrophes are best known for indicating possession. Maybe that is why they get so mucked up in contractions. 

Often, the open single quotation mark is used in place of the apostrophe. Here's a good example:

See the difference? 

English Grammar for Dummies rules that in English you can use contractions to shorten a word by removing one letter or more and substituting an apostrophe in the same spot. For example, chop wi out of I will, throw in an apostrophe, and you have I’ll. The resulting word is shorter and faster to say, with only one syllable (sound) instead of two.

Apostrophes are not without a sense of humor. Check out Apostrophe Catastrophe. Soon you'll be submitting your own examples. 

Improve your writing, improve your life - Improv

One of my favorite ways to improve my writing ... is improv! 

And, the next session at the Plaza Playhouse Theater will begin its next 8-week session on Tuesday, Sept. 15. The workshop’s new director is Tom Mueller, co-founder of Ventura Improv Company, Incorporated and its former artistic director and president.

Tom Mueller

Here's some of the small print: Best suited for those 17 and older, the Improv Workshop is open to all interested parties and will meet from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. through Nov. 10 (no class on Oct. 13). There will be an improv performance on Friday, Nov. 13, at the Plaza Playhouse Theater.

Enrollment is limited to 20 participants and is on a first come, first served basis. The workshop fee is $100. 

Registration may be completed online at www.plazatheatercarpinteria.com or by sending a check to Plaza Playhouse Theater, ATTN: Improv Workshop, 4916 Carpinteria Ave., Carpinteria, CA 93013. Sorry, no drop-ins allowed. For more information call Amy Orozco (that's me!) at (805) 284-2622.

Five Beautiful Non-English Sayings

I'm happy to introduce guest blogger Jessica Kane. My love of words has gone international. I even have practiced saying the words and phrases aloud. Enjoy! And, thank you Jessica. 

Five Beautiful Non-English Sayings

Some languages crystallize joy in a single word or phrase. They capture the essence of happiness in verse that explodes with bliss. They're poignant in their native tongue but have no English match. Still, you can enjoy employing them to condense your speech. Below are happy foreign words that aren't found in English.

I'm in Love!

Forelsket - Norwegian

This word sparkles with the thrill of falling in love for the first

time. It sings with exhilaration and dancing anticipation. It embodies the bubbly feeling that bounces inside. Your emotions are skipping. Your heart is doing cartwheels.

This verb for being swept off your feet should have an English counterpart. Though it doesn't, you can glimpse an image of it here.

To hear the word pronounced, go to: https://www.howtopronounce.com/swedish/forelsket/, or click here.

It's Heaven Being Here With You

Hyggelig - Danish

This word conveys a cozy ambiance. It portrays a homey scene with your honey. You're snuggling in your sweetie's arms before a glowing fireplace. You're supremely content. Nothing could enhance the ease of the moment.

There is no English equivalent for the exquisiteness of hyggelig. However, you can see and feel what it's like by clicking here.

For the way to say this perky word, go to: https://www.howtopronounce.com/hyggelig/, or click here.

Something Tells Me You're The One

Koi No Yokan - Japanese

It's not quite love at first sight. Still, when you look at this person, you sense they may be "the one." There's a hint of recognition in their eyes. There's an inner knowing in their smile. The direct connect may not occur just yet. It's bound to happen in time.

This phrase is depicted in the "Sound of Music" movie. When Captain von Trapp and Maria have their first dance, you see it in their faces. To view this example of Koi No Yokan, click here.

For the pronunciation of Koi No Yokan, go to: https://www.howtopronounce.com/koi-no-yokan/, or click here.

Gosh, It's Great to See You!

Retrouvailles - French

This word connotes the surge of joy in reuniting after a long time. There's a rush of glee, a flush of excitement. The jubilation is tremendous. You hug each other with heartfelt delight. This word is epitomized in the embrace of a wife and returning soldier. For a close-up of such a reunion, click here.

To hear retrouvailles spoken in silky French, go to: https://www.howtopronounce.com/french/retrouvailles/, or click here.

You're Just So Cute!

Gigil - Tagalog

Someone is so adorable, you have to pinch their cheeks. You have an irresistible urge to express your affection. You can't refrain from seizing their face with a loving squeeze. Children often elicit this impulse. If a baby accrued a dollar for every stolen pinch, they'd be rich. To see a pinch-worthy angel, click here.

To hear gigil pronounced, go to: https://www.howtopronounce.com/gigil/, or click here.

Short and Sweet

Now you have five gems to add to your verbal repertoire:

●       forelsket

●       hyggelig

●       koi no yokan

●       retrouvailles

●       gigil

Teach your new words to your loved ones and have fun speaking in code!

Jessica Kane is a professional blogger who writes for Bureau Translations, a leading company that provide translation services for businesses.